THE DANCE WE DO
by Cuddles101
Summary: Cal has this theory: what if Gill is not such a good girl after all? AU. Warnings: rated M / NC17.
1. Chapter - PRELUDE

_**Summary: **__Cal has this theory: what if Gill is not such a good girl after all? _

_**Timeline:**__ AU. _

_**Disclaimer:**__I don't own any of the LTM characters, written for fun and not profit, yada yada yada..._

_**Warnings:**__ rated M / NC17 for a good reason. Graphic sexual situations! Read under own risk and don't complain I didn't warn..._

_**Note:**__ I know, I know – maybe it is kind of lame, but the idea just kept bugging me until I got it out on the paper... so here we are..._

**THE DANCE WE DO**

**Chapter 1 **

**PRELUDE**

It was only one sentence, several simple syllables forming words that normally should have been forgotten long ago. Instead they were engraved in his memory forever.

Actually not only the words, but the way she had said them. Her body language, rise in the pitch of her voice, sensual huskiness of the tone, hot fire burning in her eyes that revealed passion he suspected was there, but had never really witnessed before.

It all summarised up in one most probably unconscious innuendo as she uttered: _„I've always wanted to be tied up..."_

The revelation took place during undercover mission when they pretended to be a happily married couple with high interest in porn. It took all of Cal's willpower and even a bit more to stay in the character. Embarrassing as it was that one sentence had made him rock hard, aroused to a point when he had seen stars from the tension. The rest of the visit was outlived in haze, not to mention the rest of the day.

Later, when they were back at the office he tried to probe, to relive that bare emotion he witnessed before, but to no avail.

„_Tied up, hey?"_

„_That was an act."_

„_The rest of it was, maybe, but that bit rang true."_

„_In your dreams."_

„_Abso-bloody-lutely"_

Even if a slightly flirtiest tone was still there, sparkle of that deep desire and basic instinct was masked under the good girl exterior. The one she always had; the one he adored so much.

From the start Cal had known that her spirit was far more passionate than she ever let on, but only on rarest occasions he had witnessed that glimpse of her personality. It was buried so deep, that Cal was not sure she was even aware of it.

He had pushed her buttons before; there was no doubt about that. But after this he went to and beyond limits, all in the name of drawing out that hidden and obscured flicker of fire.

Gill was patient; one could say even saint when dealing with him. She didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated her and Cal knew all too well what a wanker he was acting like seven years old, pulling the girl he liked by piggy tails. He just couldn't help it.

Every night Cal promised himself that he would not disappoint her, would not mistreat or hurt her ever again, won't make her suffer. Unfortunately all the resolutions and wows he made during the wee hours lived only till morning, till brand new day when he saw her in the office, smiling and optimistic, wearing one of those gorgeous dresses that made his mouth dry.

All the good intentions were overpowered by wish, no, not wish, need to find that hidden treasure, that passion and burning desire buried under layers of kindness, levelheadedness, good manners, self preservation instinct and ethics.

Cal had seen the spark intensity of which still made his heart flip a beat and knees go weak. There would be no rest until he got it out in plain sight.

###

"_Put your hand on the heart and tell me you think Wallowski is clean."_

"_What, you mean clean like you?"_

It was low and Cal knew it, he was pushing her again. Besides being pissed off by the situation he had once again used obstacles as leverage to test her limits.

Gill retaliated without really replying to the offence, but just before she concealed the hurt of his words that flick of obstinacy and passion shone in her eyes with intensity that made Cal's mouth drop open. Arousal came on its own accord.

Gill didn't say anything, but for tiniest millisecond in time that raging storm buried deep within her soul had taken better of her composition. As quickly as it came, the fire was gone replaced by so familiar expression of kindness and worry.

If she saw change of his expression, she didn't comment on it, perhaps attributed it as his lust for the crooked cop. If only she knew actual reason. It would leave her speechless as minimum.

Cal knew that Gill cared for him deeply. They were best friends and partners, but that was not enough. Not anymore. If the fire that burned inside her had such a power over him with a simple glance, he was thrilled albeit a bit afraid to imagine what could happen, if she let 'it' loose.

There was also this nagging voice of self doubt. Maybe it was just his imagination. Maybe he was seeing things that were not there. Before doing anything that could jeopardize the status quo, Cal needed more proof. Therefore over years he had probed and pushed and tested, but never reached a solid conclusion.

It was no huge surprise. She had always been his blind spot. Besides that Gill was the only person in the world who was not easily pissed by his undigested, even unreasoned actions.

Of course there was their flirting banter, but that always was leveled out by the bloody 'line', imaginary excuse of the dance they did. The dance they mastered so good, even perfectly. Daily practice of the steps performed over the years made them excel. One step forward, two steps back, one bold move, daring touch or word and two steps back retaliating behind those barriers of fear and uncertainty.

Always the same old choreography they so adamantly refused to change. It was fear that kept them apart, made them hide in trenches. Fear of losing a friend, a business partner. Fear of change. Fear of unknown.

So he kept probing, pushing and weighting.

###

Cal had tried to keep the distance, tried to convince himself that he would only taint someone as pure and innocent as Gillian. Now he was not so sure anymore. What he had seen on her face before and especially explicitly today left him wondering.

There was darkness, some sort of hollow void and unexplainable abyss in her that desperately needed fulfillment. She either masked it well or was not aware of it.

Cal had desperately searched for final confirmation of his theory. Now when he got it, there was nothing that could stop him to get what he wanted. He sincerely hoped that what he wanted went hand in hand with what she needed.

Finally after all these years he had gathered courage to push her far beyond the limits. It had been huge risk. One he hadn't been willing to take for ages too afraid to scare her off, to lose her forever.

What was the saying – the world belongs to brave? Well, it had been a risk, but totally worth it. That is if she ever spoke to him again, although he could bet that she would. If no, he would make her see his point anyway. No turning back. Not anymore.

It was a setup from the start. He had deliberately made her squirm. Remembering the events of the afternoon Cal got aroused again. It was not his fault that the body reacted same way every time he saw that sparkle. It was his undoing.

_Under false pretences he had lured her into this trap. Trap made of secret and unvoiced desires. It was supposed to be all about a case. At least that was his excuse to drag her across the town in broad light of the day to undisclosed location._

_As soon as massive doors to the château opened, they entered completely different reality. It was a place where no limitations existed, where people were free to take what, where and how they wanted. Eyes locked on her face, Cal grabbed her hand and yanked her further inside. Grip on her wrist never loosened. _

_It was more than a brothel; it was kinky, illicit, disgusting. Place known only for few chosen ones. It was a palace of pain and pleasure, lust and release - completely different concept of beauty, freedom and love._

_Gill was completely shocked. Even un-ceremonial tug on her arm hadn't gotten her out of the haze. Expression of utter disbelief and shock was plastered on her face. It was crystal clear that she had absolutely no clue what had prompted Cal to take her to a place like this. She already figured the fact that it had absolutely no connection to any case whatsoever. She had very little idea of why, but she instinctively knew that he was pushing her limits again._

"_See something you like, luv?" he whispered in a husky voice. It was a challenge. If he had been wrong, he would know it soon._

"_Cal, what is this place?" she asked in a small voice "Why we are here?"_

_Pulse under his fingertips intensified, skin became moist. To his big surprise instead of repulsion or contempt those grey orbs shone with arousal. The same old fire of passion he had seen before._

_It flashed on her face even less than one fifteenth of a second and as quickly as came was replaced by shame, embarrassment and something else, something he was not able to decipher. Nevertheless, it was enough for Cal. _

"_To enjoy the view..."_

"_You're sense of humor is getting cruel" she stated never meeting his eyes. Next moment she jerked as someone was groping her ass. It was tall, dark and handsome guy dressed in a knee-length tunic that didn't obscure his broad chest and more than fair equipment. _

_Flushed face, eyes lowered, and shoulders down in shame she had broken free of Cal's grip on her arm and ran out of the building never looking back. _

Cal had gotten his confirmation. It was all he needed.

###

It was evening. Cal found her standing on the balcony, observing the evening rush. She had deliberately avoided him for the rest of the day. Neon lights illuminated her slender form making it look almost unrealistic, ethereal, and unearthly beautiful.

She didn't react to his steps. Her head was turned to the side revealing distant and sad look. Whatever she was thinking about was not pleasant. The question 'why' he had done what he did have not left her mind throughout the afternoon. It was true. Lately he had been even more unbearable than usually. But this went beyond ass-hood.

Cal watched her. He truly hoped that he was not sole reason for that sad look of hers. Maybe she was simply lost in the lights and noises of the outside world. The city that never slept or got tired rushed below in rapid flow, people hurried from and to places never having time to stop and simply look around, notice the small things that made this world worthwhile.

Unfortunately he knew better. Un-wanting to disturb her, at least not yet Cal leaned against the wall and continued to stare, but was shortly interrupted by her shaky voice "Came to gloat? See how much more you rattle me?'' she started calmly, but soon the anger started to simmer in the tone "are there any limits left you have not pushed so far? What are you trying to prove? That I'm not or never could be as bad-ass as you?"

The moment had come. It was now or never. Cal stepped closer catching her eyes in his and holding them with such dark intensity that made Gill's head dizzy.

"Gill?"

She almost felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny. Almost. She refused to be intimidated and swore to stand her ground whatever his intentions were. Gill didn't want to give away tremor in her voice and instead of reply simply growled "Mmmm?"

"Do you trust me?"

"What?" the question took her by surprise. Whatever she thought his line would be this was not one of the options. Gill had absolutely no idea what brought it up or where he was going with this, but from the tensed and nervous expression she sensed that for some reason the answer to that question was important, even crucial. Cal looked more than simply stressed. He was terrified. It was quite unusual combination of emotions considering the earlier escapade. He had her rattled and now instead of simple apology came up with this. Was there even something remotely resembling reason behind it all?

Like always when Cal was concerned the curiosity got better of her and she forgot all about the anger burning only minutes ago. Whatever was going on, it was important for Cal.

"Do you trust me?" Cal repeated in all seriousness taking a step closer so they were almost nose to nose.

"Where are you going with this?"

"Please, Gill, do you trust me?"

The desperation in his voice made her reconsider the initial reply she had on the tip of her tongue. Instead of smart ass replica she truthfully sighed "You know that I do."

"It is time to change the dance."

For the love of God, the man was getting more and more cryptic each minute "What dance?"

"The dance we do. I hope you will forgive me!" Cal replied. From the tone and subtext it was absolutely clear that whatever it was he was apologizing for, it was not for dragging her to that horrid place.

"For what?" Gill asked surprised.

"For this" he mouthed putting arms around her shoulders in solid embrace and pressing a napkin over her nose.

"What are you..." the strong scent made her dizzy and several seconds later Gill collapsed in strong masculine arms wrapped around her form in protective embrace.

Cal picked up precious cargo and headed out of the building leaving empty halls behind.

The time for change had come. The leap of faith – he just had to take the first step.

Even if they didn't manage to learn new steps, they would adjust the tune to a beat of a different drummer.


	2. Chapter - SUBMISSION

**Chapter 2**

**SUBMISSION**

Cal knew perfectly well general perception of 'this'. At best it was considered to be a kinky hobby and at worst – complete immorality and degradation. The reason why he had chosen 'this' was none of the above. While still very young and restless he had been in a place like this and it changed him. Strange as it might sound, it had changed him for better. Experience gained had helped to realise the fears that held him strangled and abolish restricting barriers, the same ones that didn't allow enjoying the life in full measure.

Off course over the years the restrictions and barriers had found their way back, mostly because no one was really free from the customs and practices imposed by the society. If you didn't want to be outcast, you had to play by the rules and we are not talking about 10 Commandments here.

Even with all of his harshness and bad boy image, Cal embodied the same patterns as everybody else. Unnecessary restrictions imposed by fears. Relinquish to follow the desires of the heart because of the fear to be rejected, misunderstood, unwanted, fear of changes, fear of mistakes, failure or commitments, whatever makes us tickle. This smothering emotion is not something we are born with or inherit in the DNA. It is something we acquire throughout the life. For better or worse, and usually it is the latter, these fears keep us from reaching for the stars, attain full potential of professional and even more so - emotional life.

The experience had helped Cal to let go of dark clouds densely hovering over his soul. For the first time in life he had experienced what true freedom meant. Even now, after all these years, that pure feeling lived vividly in his memory. Maybe it would help her too. Help to get free from the restrains she had willingly or unknowingly imposed upon herself.

Only when you learn to articulate your desires, have the courage to ask what you want, you might get what you need.

Even if this whole plan went down in blue flames, at least he would have tried. Maybe she was not ready to enliven her fantasies and release inner desires with him, to abandon cantons of the society she so strictly followed. Not because she had no point of view or personality, but simply because her fears to disappoint or be unworthy could be stronger than internal flame she so desperately tried to deafen.

Over the years of observing and probing Cal had learned her most pronounced insecurities. She had always been expected to be perfect, initially by family, then by Alec. There was no place for mistakes, not for her. She was never in control, it was not her nature anyway, but still it was her task to ensure that everything went smoothly. It was expected. Imposed. She had to be perfect daughter and perfect wife. Even when Alec fucked up with drugs, it had been literally expected from Gill to pull it all together, put everything back on track. Whatever went wrong, whoever fucked up it was always her task to clean the mess. And she always did. Unfortunately it was the same pattern with him and Cal knew it all too well.

Therefore, for this to work, they both had to change. He had to let go of annoying habits and lower the controlling streak of his personality and there was no way he could do it without her help. She on the other hand had to abolish her fears and barriers.

One could undergo years of therapy to achieve the level of freedom required to articulate the desires of the heart. This was easier and more pleasant version of the same routine. Pleasure and pain, emotions so opposite and yet so intervened. When intensified they could lead to unbelievable things.

Cal looked lovingly at the sleeping woman. He had to try to change old, worn-out patterns. For both of them. As soon as first signals that she was truly scared or unwilling would appear, she would be free to leave. Nothing that happened here would be done against her will. Well, come to think of it, that might not be completely true. More precisely – nothing would be done against her desires. Without being pushed hard Gill would always remain hiding behind those steel doors and never release that flaming fire burning deep within.

The woman stirred in sleep and Cal got up from the side of the bed.

The show was about to begin.

For better or worse there was no going back.

Cal truly hoped that he was not making the biggest mistake of his life.

###

Heavy eyelids fluttered. Shooting pain ran through the temples as she moved. Although the room was semi dark, it was still too bright for her liking. Throat completely parched. Gill had absolutely no idea what the occasion had been, but couldn't recall ever having such a hangover. Even lightest movement made her dizzy and she moaned. Muscles of her arms ached.

Wanting to get in more comfortable position, Gill tried to lift her hands, only to find that the range of the motion was very limited. She tugged and pulled stronger, but to no avail. The restrains didn't give away. That momentarily got her fully alert. What on earth was going on?

Opening her eyes she worriedly glanced around. The room was colored in white. Actually it was not only the color of the room, but everything in it. She was in a bed. Arms stretched above her head were tied to a bedpost with scarf. Legs treated the same way, leaving her exposed in a star like shape.

It was not all. Someone had taken the liberty and undressed her to undergarments. White satin underwear was hers. Good! But almost transparent sleeveless white cotton garment on top of it was something new and most definitely didn't come from her wardrobe.

Gill had absolutely no idea how long it had taken Cal to find this cloud like soft fabric, so innocent, so pure and almost ephemeral. It was the way he saw her. This was no place for traditional leather, straps and whips. This was not about control or domination per se. It was about abandoning restrains and learning to articulate hidden desires and needs. He wanted to make her see that her darker side was not something to be ashamed of, that it could perfectly well co-exist in a harmony with the rest of her personality. When he had run his finger over the material for the first time, he had mental picture how well it would feel on her soft skin. It was a perfect match.

Gill's eyes widened and breathing became short and labored as the fear seeped in. How she had ended up here? Why? Who could do something like this?

Then she remembered. It was Cal, whatever the reasoning was she was here because of him. The realization made her taut muscles relax a bit. She knew that there was no real danger if Cal was involved. Next moment fear gave way to anger.

How dared he treat her like this, like she was one of his one night stands who would tolerate about everything? Who the hell did he think he was? Had he lost all respect towards her whatsoever? He had been pushier lately, even a bit cruel, but this. This went beyond everything she would have ever expected.

Well, to be completely honest, their light banter and flirting had hovered close to the line, even blurred it on occasion, but nevertheless it didn't give him right to act without her consent. That is what it was, wasn't it? She was here against her will left defenseless and fully exposed for the world to see. Why instead of gut clenching fear and shame she felt butterflies of anticipation flutter at the base of her belly?

Before she had a chance to get all Freud on herself the doors opened and the man of the hour appeared, flesh and blood. He was wearing tunic like garment from the same white cotton and trousers. Without a single word he entered and stood at the base of the luxury sized bed covered in white satin overlay and sheets from the same material. The dark intensity of his gaze swept over her scarcely dressed form and Gill felt goose bumps arise. Anger mixed with fear heightened sensations to all new level. Unfortunately as side effect it also increased the pounding ache in her head.

„Cal?!" she whispered in barely audible voice. It was meant as a question, but came out almost like plea „Stop it. What is going on?"

„You will speak only when spoken to, slave." Came uncharacteristically cold and controlled reply.

Mouth wide open in neat circle Gill looked at him as if third eye just popped out on his forehead. Only after some time she reeled from initial shock enough to get her voice back „It is not funny. You are scaring me!"

He would have stopped, right that instant. The fear in her voice would have been enough reason, unless carefully masked and hidden excitement hadn't found its way to surface. No ordinary man would have even noticed that it was there, but Cal was no ordinary man. He made living on reading emotions.

„I guess you will have to get punished to learn the lesson" Cal calmly stated moving closer and with feather light touch tracing her shaped leg from the toes to knee and above. The touch sent hot waves down her body and Gill involuntarily shuddered.

„I'm begging you, stop this madness..." pitch in her voice raised as his hand continued its journey up.

Suddenly he was on top of her. Strong arms spread further her already parted legs and hot mouth intensely ravaged her core. Skilful tongue snaked around her aching centre followed by lightly pressed patterns of teeth around the sensual lining.

In complete shock she hasped out loud „Cal..."

As if it was most natural thing to do, he kept licking her folds. Although he didn't see her face, reassurance of his actions came together with the taste of her juices.

„Please…stop"

That simple six letter word 'please' was his undoing, especially when it came from her and was uttered in such a small voice that could belong to a young girl and not the woman that lay in front of him. Cal paused and raised his head, tongue replaced with fingers.

„Why, luv? Why should I stop, if it is clear that I'm exactly where you want me to be?"

„We can't do this... It is wrong!"

Cal almost smirked. He hadn't expected anything else. Her head was not yet following the heart.

„Will you obey?"

„Cal!"

„I asked you slave, will you obey your master and speak only when spoken to?" he repeated attacking her clit with double force that made her squirm.

Gill still couldn't believe that he was doing this. Her cheeks were flushed from the fact that she was tied to a bed and licked by her best friend and partner in undisclosed location during broad daylight. It was wrong. It was inappropriate. It was ... hot.

Intensity of his gaze made her even hotter. She had never seen such a desire and need on any man's face before. It made her blushed cheeks run with fire.

Next moment the voice of reason woke. This was Cal. They shouldn't be doing this for so many reasons. Good reasons. Sensible and pragmatic reasons. She had to stop this! Now!

„Yes!" Gill cried out wriggling under his touch.

„Yes, what?" he asked, hand never leaving her centre.

„I'll do as you say!" Gill couldn't believe that she was even contemplating to agree with any of this.

„You will consent to be my slave and follow my orders?" Cal challenged making sloppy sounds with his fingers.

„Yes, God, yes, just stop..." she replied, eyes tightly closed, expression of pure embarrassment evident on her face.

„That means you promise to keep your mouth, if I promise to keep mine?" Cal smirked.

Completely missing double meaning Gill nodded. Next moment she felt him withdraw his fingers and the weight of body left the bed as he exited the room leaving her alone and trembling from embarrassment and need.

###

Gill was still reeling from the sudden attack. She knew that she was supposed to feel violated, even degraded. Why on earth did she feel so excited and alive? It didn't make any sense. Cal was using her as sex object and she simply let him. Was she insane?

With Alec it had always been classic lovemaking. No licking and sucking, barely any foreplay besides cuddling. No fantasies revived. Even when he was high and forced himself on her, it was the same old boring routine. With Dave it had been whole new experience, more spicy and satisfactory, but always tender and loving. Never before had Gill experienced this dark, forbidden, inadmissible sense that only Cal was able to fire up. He was the only person, who managed to get her emotions ran from cold to burning hot in an instant. Whether it was a fight they had, a challenge he posed or flirting they indulged in. It was always the same with him – emotions wild, no middle grounds.

Truth was that even when he acted as complete jackass, she couldn't bring herself to hate him. Not really. Not even when he made her life a living hell. It was always hurt rather than hate, but sometimes the emotion was so strong that Gill was not overly sure whether thin line separating them was not crossed.

He had left her there even more exposed than before. How was she supposed to look him in the eye after this? Her body had betrayed her and there was no going back, pretending that it never happened. Before she had a chance to finish the thought, the doors opened once again.

Cal entered and just like the first time stood in the corner of the room without saying a word. For a long time he just stood there. Gill kept silent remembering all too well the consequences that would follow if she spoke. The way he was fixed on her felt creepy, although at the same time the coldness in his eyes excited her, made her tremble with anticipation.

Even from the distance she could see wheals turning in his head. He was weighting and measuring, contemplating and guessing. Then it occurred, he was double guessing his decision. Whatever he had read on her face apparently was enough.

In the same smooth and perfectly controlled tone call addressed her „First about the rules. You will do what, when and how I say. Not because I will make you, but because you trust me. I will not force myself upon you, not unless you will ask for it. And while we are in this place, you will call me Sir. Is that clear?"

Unable to suppress chuckle for his latter remark Gill smirked and nodded. It was so like Cal to strive for total control, calling him that way would only boost up his already oversized ego.

„I didn't hear – is it clear?"

„Yes" she replied, as an afterthought with barely contained amusement adding „Sir"

„Don't fool yourself thinking I didn't saw that" he continued in that cold detached tone that made tremors run over her spine.

"You are allowed to have one question" he added after a while.

„What about the work?"

Cal almost dropped out of the character. The desire to laugh out loud was unbearable. So rational, so level headed, so Gillian. Here she lay, barely decent at his complete mercy and her first question was about the bloody business. Although, the thought of her performing managerial tasks from the current position, left him short breathed.

„Don't worry. The employees are well informed that we are on vacation. I will now untie you and we will go for a walk, but first I will give you a massage."

Gill was not able to hide discomfort and winced as her hands were set free to move. Small needles jabbed her shoulders as the change of the position renew the blood circulation.

„Take of the garment, bra and lay on your belly."

Cal saw the hesitation on Gill's face and raised an eyebrow. With hardened expression he leaned forward. It was encouragement enough to make Gill obey. She quickly lay flat on her stomach, putting arms by her sides. What harm could come from a simple massage anyway?

„Good girl" Cal praised. Gill closed her eyes in shame. Good girls didn't allow to be treated this way and most definitely didn't get all wet when found themselves tied to a bedpost in a strange place and being fondled by their business partners.

God, did his smooth fingers felt good on her back, pulling and kneading taut muscles of her shoulders. It relaxed, lulled into a false feel of peace and tranquility. The tender, yet strong touch on her delicate skin felt amazing. It was not a touch of a masseuse or a friend, it was more intimate and personal. It was a touch of a lover.

Despite the situation and worry nagging at the back of her mind, soon she was on the brink of falling asleep. Cal chose exactly that moment to stop ministrations and drag her slack and unresisting body out of the bed.

„Time to have some fun" he sensually breathed into her ear helping to get back in the sleeveless cotton tunic. Before she had a chance to object, still in a haze Gill was dragged out of the secure and shielding walls of the room.


	3. Chapter - FEAR

**Note: **_Although initially there were two more chapters planned, I'm wondering whether this shouldn't be the last... trust me, while in my head, the idea seemed significantly more alluring than when put on paper... apparently this genre is not my forte (what can I say - one never knows until tries) ... Nevertheless, thanks for all who read and special thanks to reviewers..._

**Chapter 3 **

**FEAR**

They entered large hall which Gill momentarily recognized. It was the same place he had brought her before, the one that by memory alone made her blush. Never would she have guessed that heaven like room with light creamy walls, white satin sheets and bowls of fragrant oleanders was right in the centre of the hell, a place that deemed to be the cradle of sin.

As before the hall was full of half naked people; they were doing 'it' in all possible positions and locations. Gill was not naive schoolgirl, but this public display of most intimate act seemed inappropriate, wrong, some of the performances even kinky.

Vivid red and black walls were illuminated by tons of lit candles. Unlike in their room, dark curtains were covering large windows preventing the entrance of the daylight. There was no place for light in this den of amorality. Slaves hovering around on all fours were led by their masters. Leather and chains clearly dominated the place. Off course it was not all that met the eye, as the fantasies revived were different and none of them judged. There was a corner where a bunch of Romans was indulging in unspeakable orgy. Then there were counts and duchesses from 17th or 18th century, even several royal eminences with suite. Gill could have sworn that two people in the corner were Adam and Eve. If she was right then it literally made place the origin of sin.

Moans and gasps surrounded them as Cal dragged her through the crowded area. The place screamed carnality. Question '_what have I gotten myself into?'_ never left Gill's mind. Maybe if it hadn't been for the after-effects of the drugs, she mused, she would have found the courage to give Cal a piece of mind. Nevertheless, she couldn't deny that cold and dirty arousal was still there, provoked by fear and excitement mixed in one intangible ball.

When they reached the opposite side of the large room, Cal opened huge wooden doors and they found themselves in a different reality. Large well illuminated room was full of people sitting or laying around round tables. Soft jazz music could be heard in the background as people dined, danced and drank. It was less vulgar that the atmosphere outside, but it was still less than appropriate. Gill had absolutely no idea she was lost in the surroundings. Cal's tug on her arm got her out of the haze, as he guided her to a table in the centre of the room.

Most of the people wore masks, either a leather strap over face or the fancy ones with feathers and interesting ornaments. Suddenly self conscious she realised that her only line of defense was almost transparent cotton garment which even with big stretch couldn't be called decent and covered her form only till thighs, that and the panties as her bra was discarded during the massage. She had no luxury of mask to hide behind, left bare for them to see, to judge and condemn. The thought made Gill stiff and she tried to wriggle out of Cal grasp, to retreat behind safe walls of 'their' room.

Cal sensing her discomfort only tightened the grip as he dragged her along. Even if she tried her best, there was no way she could overpower him and they both knew it.

Waiter dressed only in hip cover approached as they reached the destination. There were no chairs, but comfortable low sofa was facing what seemed to be a stage. Cal whispered something in man's ear and he scurried away. Then he sat tugging Gill down with him, wrenching her in a way that she ended up fully displayed over his lap. Gill tried to get up, position herself more dignifiedly, but strong arms held her in place. Soft voice whispered against her ear "Shhh... relax... it is perfect the way you are..."

Afraid that he could pull something like before, back in the room, if she didn't comply, Gill tried her best to at least give impression of being relaxed, but even that was impossible. Her back was against Cal's chest, legs spread around his hips. Both arms captured behind her back were securely held in one strong palm while the other drew lazy circles on the sensitive skin of her stomach. The scarce piece of closing she wore was almost useless as it had driven up to her chest leaving her middle section bare.

On the way she noticed, that most of the slaves were kneeling on the floor besides their masters. In that position they were less noticeable and displayed than her.

"I would prefer to kneel, Sir" she whispered embarrassedly closing her eyes.

Gill couldn't grasp the idea of being naked and splayed over someone's lap in the centre of the room full of people. Back in the room where they were alone it was one thing, but this was entirely different. Gill's cheeks burned with such intensity, that she wished for the floor to open and engulf her. Afraid to see the judgment and condemn on the faces she determinedly kept her eyes tightly shut.

As if sensing her resolution, Cal's arm left her abdomen and moved to cup her face.

"Open your eyes, luv!" he breathed against her neck as soft kisses trailed her jaw line "it will be ok, I promise".

He radiated such strength and comfort that against her better judgment Gill complied. To her big surprise no one really paid much attention. Those few who did, looked at them either with lust or indifference, never contempt that she believed would be there.

Nevertheless, it didn't lessen the tension clearly audible in her shaky voice "We shouldn't be doing this, especially in front of all of these people!"

"Trust me, even if we shagged right here, right now, no one would raise an eyebrow. People are not here to judge, but to enjoy freedom from the cantons of the society."

The waiter came and served the table with bowls of various fruits and wine. Cal took a large piece of watermelon and bite. Then he lowered the treat to Gill's lips and drew slow circles till she opened her mouth.

When she took small bite, juices of the fruit dripped from her chin and formed small glistering trails down her neck. Gill tried to free her arms to clean the mess, but Cal held them strongly in place.

Dripping piece of fruit continued guided journey south leaving wet trail on her smooth skin. Pushing aside white cotton Cal pressed cool sweet moistener against one of the nipples and began to draw agonizingly slow and measured circles till it became erect.

Despite her body reaction Gill knew they had to stop. It was inappropriate!

She turned head to plea for mercy, convince him to stop, but all protests died on her lips. Those bare emotions she saw in amber depths of his eyes sent hot wave of arousal. It left her breathless. Intense mix of lust and shame made her dazed head spin.

This was completely new experience and Gill had absolutely no idea how to react. It all was wrong, right and utterly confusing at the same time.

In the mean while Cal had finished with second nipple and put a strawberry against her lips. Instead of allowing her to take a bite, he put the fruit between her parted lips and reached for chocolate syrup that he generously poured on top. Her mouth was still slightly ajar as he cupped her face and leaned forward, their hasty breaths mingling without physical contact.

Cal paused before he crossed the rest of the distance and took a bite of chocolate covered desert without really kissing her, but sensually nibbling bottom of her lip and licking some of the chocolate from her skin.

Suddenly the lights went off, leaving them in complete darkness. Harsh sound of click broke the silence and light illumination fell on the stage. Several seconds later it became alive and the show started.

To Gill's big surprise it was tasteful and exotically erotic. No cheap porn. No kinky sex she had witnessed in the hall. It was highly sensual and passionate performance. Cal's continued ministrations on her heated flesh fuelled by sensual view on the stage left Gill aching to a point where it bordered to torture.

As suddenly as it started, the lights went off and they were left in complete darkness.

Low, full of passion and promises voice announced in the microphone: _"Bonsoir, Mesdames et Messieurs, permettez-moi annoncer la danse de la passion!"_

Soft red lights at the corners of the room were switched on. It made the place completely different, even exotic. When the music began, it was wild, intense, hypnotic and passionate. Like a narcotic, one you couldn't resist.

Almost on their own accord aroused and covered in sweat bodies mingled and curled in carnal passion. Cal had dragged barely resisting woman to the feet and pushed them right in the middle of the rapidly moving mass. There were no steps, no rules, and no restrictions. People moved completely tuned with feelings. Intoxicating odor of passion and sexuality radiated almost nuclear waves. Like before terrible storm, thick, almost tangible pressure lay in the air.

In the centre of this madness one pair stood almost motionless. Cal had wrapped his arms around Gill in a protective embrace and they were slowly turning round as if dancing in a completely different tune, one that only they could hear.

Suddenly the lights went out and the thunderstorm began. The tension that was building reached the peak. Everything around them was alive, moving and caressing, gasping and moaning in ecstasy and passion, screams became almost as laud as music.

It was forbidden. It was alluring. It was hot.

Although initially very tense, even Gill got overwhelmed. One simply couldn't stay unaffected. Especially with so many triggers around – the intoxicating atmosphere, unfiltered emotions on Cal's face just before the lights went out and his rock hard erection pressed against her bottom.

Darkness was daring. It revived! Encouraged to break the rules, go beyond limits.

Before changing her mind, Gill pressed flatly against Cal and kissed his neck. The contact was not slow and chaste, rather passionately aggressive and intense. The feeling of arousal from before was back, doubled in its force and Gill got quite lost in the sensation of Cal's tensed muscles under her palms, his hot breath in her ear and sticky moistness of their skin.

Moving in tune with the music, mouth pressed against his skin, Gill moved down his chest leaving wet trail behind, excited at the way his muscles flexed beneath her arms and tremors run down his body. When she had almost reached his waistline, he pulled her back up afraid that if she continued to go in that direction, he wouldn't be able to hold back.

Completely unaffected by betraying tremble of his hands, Gill turner around and pressed her back into his chest, ass tightly pressed against his erection and Cal moaned out laud. Possessively his arms snaked around her slender frame caressing and exciting.

The mass around them thickened. It literally pulsated; giddy being caught by the bright light that suddenly went on.

Gill opened her eyes and stiffened, but was unable to stop their dirty dance intensity of which was horrifying and thrilling at the same time.

The lights went off, and they both were completely lost in the sensations. It seemed like only minute later, although all ten had actually passed the lights were back. In her haze Gill barely noticed the difference. When the lights went off again, absolute darkness overtook the room, but at that point no one really cared. Sight was replaced by other sensory organ – touch, true and raw, intense and wild feelings.

As if acting by some unseen force the mass rapidly moved with such a force and intensity that Cal lost his grip on Gill. She was sucked in the carousel of moving limbs. Try as he might, he couldn't reach her. The fact that it was pitch dark didn't help.

Only fifteen minutes later when the lights went on again he spotted her trapped in the middle of a very active group. Cal almost fought his way through the tangle of animated flesh.

When he reached her side she was literally trembling, eyes tightly closed. One look on her face told more than thousand words. It had nothing to do with arousal; it was fear in purest form. Fear provoked by complete helplessness, incomprehension and self-loathing.

Somewhere along the way she had lost the cotton tunic as it was pulled down her shoulders. Panties were only piece of clothing that covered her sweated body.

Cal forcefully pulled off three men who were holding her in place actively licking and sucking her body. As soon as she was free, she pulled her legs to chest and circled arms around them in a fetal position, slightly swaying. Cal took shirt from his shoulders and gently wrapped it around her, hiding her gorgeous body from lustful and curious stares. Lifting her unresisting form Cal moved to the exit leaving dumbfounded and dissatisfied stares behind.

"You weren't there..." she stammered between sobs with eyes still tightly shut "I trusted you!"

Maybe to anyone else it wouldn't have made sense, but Cal knew perfectly well what she was rambling about. As a representative of male species he had always been more casual and extensive in the field of sex. Nevertheless, even he was left utterly shocked after '_Tourbillon de passion'. _Theintensity of feelings and emotions was like nothing he had ever experiences before. Like someone had taken the liberty and pulled out all nerves of the body, suppressed them in one tight ball and smashed it with the hammer.

There was no wonder people got so affected by this carefully designed and professionally executed program. Both, the show and the dance were aimed at opening second chakra responsible for desire, sexuality and pleasure. Amongst other techniques used it was achieved by lights, music and motion reflexes. Dizzying carousel of stimulated pleasure and sensuality.

Atop of that music filled with Alpha waves directly influenced parts of brain responsible for sexuality. All feelings and even rational part of brain was overpowered by one sensory organ – sense.

He had dragged her there completely un-warned and left unprotected.

Only because she trusted him, she had agreed to this madness.

Only because by his side she felt safe enough to go beyond familiar lines of the comfort zone, she had succumbed to his will.

And when she finally took that final step, leap of faith, when she had completely let it go, let her senses overtake her brain, he hadn't been there to break her fall.

###

Once back in the room, Cal gently put his precious burden on the bed and covered her trembling body with white linen. She was almost catatonic, blankly staring at the space in front of her. Cal knew that it would require some time to get over-stimulated senses back in norm.

He handed over a glass of water with dissolved sedatives. Gill's hand was trembling profoundly. If Cal hadn't steadied the glass, she wouldn't have been able to take even one sip.

The unfortunate set of circumstances had pushed them back to square one, if not even further.

_Is there even a chance after this fiasco?_ Cal wondered gently pulling a lose stray of hairs from the sleeping face.


	4. Chapter - ANGER

_**Note: **Thanks for the reviews. I finally decided to try with at least one more chapter. Will see how it goes from here..._

**Chapter 4 **

**ANGER **

"I fucked up!" was the first sentence uttered as Cal opened the doors.

"What do you mean?" the woman asked as she slowly lifted her eyes from the catalogue.

"I lost her ... last night, at the '_Tourbillon de passion'," _the manungracefullyplopped down on the red love nest that stood in the centre of the large room"I shouldn't have forced it, brought her there unprepared."

"What happened?"

"Her senses were over stimulated. We got separated and... everything went to hell..."

"Not the first costumer that finds this overwhelming," the lady smiled lazily "Give it some time to settle."

"You don't know her. She is too modest, too unspoiled and right; always hiding behind that line she so intensively draws around herself. After this I won't get even near her."

The woman looked at him curiously, then, without a word, she returned to the catalogue.

When Cal realized that Madame M was not going to give advice or comment his confessions, he got annoyed. Clearing his throat in meaningful manner he tried to remind of his presence.

Madame M, the owner of the Chateau finally looked at him again and spoke "You already know it in your heart, do you really want me to say it out loud?"

"What is that I'm supposed to know?" Cal was starting to lose his temper. He had forgotten all about M's manner to speak only half sentences, letting the people fill the blanks themselves. It was skill she had masterfully perfected over the years to the level of excellence.

"Have you forgotten everything you have been taught?"

Cal shifted in his seat, but didn't say a word. He still had no clue where she was going with this.

"Fine. I will spill it out for you. Tell me, what are the three pillars of this place?" Madame M asked in an even tone.

It was not the first time that Cal had come for her advice. Actually she planted the seed in Cal's head that resulted in this crazy plan. Not that she had told him to kidnap his partner and lock her up. That was all Cal's initiative. He knew Gill well enough to anticipate that despite her unbelievable trust in him, she would have never agreed to something like this. At least without a proper push.

Confused look that shortly crossed Cal's face disappeared "Freedom, pleasure and..." he faltered "honesty."

"That's right. You do remember after all. While fixated on the first two, I have impression you have forgotten all about the third."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know," she replied with a smile and returned back to the catalogue.

After all new 'toys' needed for the place and the costumers would not order themselves.

###

Slowly the room came into focus. The same old overwhelming whiteness that had no place in this rotten environment was almost mocking.

Whatever unexplainable force had her under the spell and made her lose control was gone. Despite her mind was still a bit foggy, Gill felt utterly ashamed.

She knew that Cal would have prepared artillery of excuses, but for once in life she didn't care. Whether he acted in his own or her interests or simply screwed up didn't matter. She just wanted to get out of there, forget it ever happened. Plain and simple.

To her big surprise Gill found that her arms and legs were free to move. No restrictions and binds whatsoever. It was good and disturbing at the same time. Gill knew the man enough to anticipate that he wouldn't let her go without a fight.

The nature of the beast.

It was always all or nothing with him. Always had been. There were no middle grounds when dealing with Cal Lightman.

For the moment Gill really opted for nothing. Whatever his game was, they could sort it later, when they were on familiar grounds and on equal terms.

The doors opened. Gill was expecting to see Cal, but to her great surprise it was not him. It was tall and masculine man with a set of fruits in one hand and some sort of clothing in another.

Only when she saw the garment she realized that her whole attire consisted only of silky and almost transparent bed sheet. The thought of her appearance made Gill blush and she tightened her grip on the soft fabric. The man didn't say a word as he put down the tray of fruits, put the garment on the bed and left. Gill followed him with eyes as he closed the doors. The familiar clicking indicated that they were locked from the other side.

Apparently she was not as free as she initially thought.

###

Cal was sitting in the small dark room right next to Gill's. The large one-way mirror that decorated the connecting wall let him observe her without actual presence.

One didn't need to be an expert in human behavior to see her anxiety. Her hand trembled a bit, as she brushed the hairs away from the face. There was a hint of contempt as she eyed the garment left behind by the servant. Anger, frustration, self-loathing – full cascade of emotions shone brightly. How was he supposed to make it right?

M's cryptic message kept playing in his mind. What did she mean when she accused him of not being truthful? What was the truth?

More he thought about it, clearer picture materialized in front of his eyes.

"Truth or happiness, never both," it was his motto of life, but not Gill's. She had always been more open and perceptive than him, took people for what they were and not what she thought they should be or how she wanted to see them. That was a rare quality, one he truly admired. Despite all his quirks and childish actions, she still accepted him.

Cal truly hoped he hadn't lost one thing he cherished most in this world – their friendship. The fear was the main reason why he never acted on his feelings. Fear that she would reject him; fear that he would screw things up even if she said yes. It was full blown Catch 22. That is until now when he finally gathered the courage to change the familiar balance.

Maybe it had been all the wrong way to go. He should have simply asked her for a date. What was his reasoning when he opted for this?

Remembering all that lead to this moment he realized the truth. There it was, plain and simple. That is what M had meant.

He had made it all about himself, his fears, his needs, his desires, when in reality it should be about her. He had seen that unfilled void in her, knew it was something that could be filled. The ultimate goal should be to lift her obliviousness. Make her overstep that fiery denial, leave the shadows of haze she had lived her whole life in and make her admit her own desires and needs.

Watching the woman Cal realized that not everything was lost. He could persuade her to play his game, only he had to use the right triggers.

The truth instead of some simulated feelings.

He had to create the set that would keep her in a state of constant arousal to a point where it bordered with pain. He had to make her admit her wants out loud. It was a road laced with thorns, but she would come out of it stronger and freer than ever before. Only once she learned to articulate her desires, have the courage to ask what she wanted, she could own it.

That is what he wanted for her.

To achieve the goal he had to play the cards very carefully. No more mistakes allowed.

###

Several hours had passed. Cal still hadn't made an appearance. Gill has gotten from frustrated, to annoyed and now was on the border of anger. Who the hell did he think he was, locking her in a cage like some sort of exotic animal? Was it all just an amusement for him?

Wish to smack Cal, smack him really hard didn't leave her. Gill was still covered in the sheet, as the garment left by the servant was even less covering than the one she had. Sitting on the bed side she desperately tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

Was he avoiding her or it was just a silence before the storm?

Whatever it was, Gill truly hoped to come out if it in one piece, figuratively speaking. Cal would never harm her physically, but she was not so sure about her emotional health. Especially because this all caused very contradict emotions that she was not ready to label.

What was he thinking when he brought her here?

Finally the doors opened and the man appeared. All the accusations died on her lips as she saw his naked body covered only with thin cloth in front of his manhood.

Gill's cheeks burned with fire. It was not the fact that she had never seen a half naked man before. It was the specific exemplar of species that made her blood boil. Never in ten years of their friendship had she seen so much flesh of her partner.

Cal entered and just like before silently stood by the wall. His overconfident demeanor made him look taller and more threatening than he really was.

Gill trembled under his intense stare. She felt naked and vulnerable, not necessarily a good combination. He just kept standing there. Not a single muscle twitched, not a slightest play of emotions on his face.

Suddenly all the fear, uneasiness and discomfort Gill felt erupted in full blown anger that made her eyes shone with the fire. The same one Cal had been so desperately searching for.

"What do you want?" Gill spat in voice laced with anger.

"I can see you have not put on the dress that was brought for you," Cal said in a calm leveled voice.

"What kind of sick fantasy of yours you have dragged me in? Am I supposed to be your concubine, fall on my knees and worship you, you ego maniac?"

Cal smirked. Gill was so proper that even when pissed off beyond belief she was not able to swear properly. For a brief moment he wondered whether it was lack of proper vocabulary or her moral standards. Either way Cal found it incredibly hot.

Instead of replying to her accusations, he asked "After all that happened, that is the best you got?"

Gill was taken aback by his completely unapologetic, even flat tone. Whatever reaction she was prepared to see that was not it. Had he lost all the conscience whatsoever?

"I demand that you give me back my clothes and let me go!"

"You are in no position to demand, beg maybe, but not demand," Cal said in the same old flat tone.

That did the trick and she finally snapped. Swiftly moving across the room she stood right in front of the man and lifted her arm to sap him across the face.

He stopped her movement in the middle, holding her delicate arm in a vise like grip. Gill tries to break free, but he is too strong. She fights, kicks and punches him, but Cal does not budge. Out of desperation she tries the dirtiest trick at her disposal – to hit him in the groin, but Cal is too quick, he wrenches the arm behind her back and holds her flat against his chest.

She still can't believe that the man had actually used physical power against her and it makes her tries to free herself almost desperate. He holds her in place. After a while Gill realizes the futility of her attempts and slacks in his arms.

The fight leaves them both completely out of breath and turned on beyond the limit.

Cal holds her small form with iron grip. Her back pressed against his chest, both hands captured with his arm that is stretched across her abdomen. Other like a snake had encircled her shoulders and chest.

Gill feels his erection, amazingly hard and incredibly insistent, tightly pressed against her bare back. The blanked she had so securely tied around herself had immodesty shifted during their fight, but at least it had not fallen off completely. She felt that the piece of clothing was her last barrier, last line of defense against the man.

The whole situation was so wrong and at the same time so right. The fact that he had physically overpowered her sent hot chills down her spine. She should feel outraged, offended, scared. Why did she feel so alive instead?

Next moment Cal shifted their positions pressing her against the wall, lifting her arms above her head and holding them in place with one arm, as the other unbelievably gently caressed her soft skin staring from the neck and slowly moving south.

"Please, stop, we can't… we mustn't…" Gill chocked desperately trying to formulate a coherent thought, but his proximity made the task impossible.

"You think that I don't see how turned on you are?" Cal asked, his fingers never stopping to draw lazy patterns above her chest "How much you really want this?"

"Cal, please, why are you doing this to me?" Gill's voice was full of despair, eyes filled with tears. Their relationship was already complicated enough, without this, whatever this was.

Why did he torment her?

Why he always had to torture her?

Why did she always let him?

Cal's fingers left her chest as he gently lifted her chin to catch her eyes, but Gill refused to look at him. He knew that if he let go now, didn't press her to the end, there would be no coming back.

Cal doubled the effort, and finally caught her eyes "We can spend a lifetime fighting; a century hiding behind real or figurative lines, but the ultimate truth is that I want you. I want you in the worst possible way."

Gill's mouth dropped open. Never before had she seen so much true and raw emotions playing on his face. Most scaring part was that he didn't even try to hide them.

"But this is not about me. It is about you and what you want. There is more passion in you than you know more hidden desires and unanswered needs than you realize. I have spent a lifetime observing you and I know what lies beneath. Let me help you reach emotional freedom and fill the void within."

"You mean with you?"

"No. I mean within yourself. To be free, really free you have to be honest with yourself. Just trust me on this one. Give me a week and if this does not work, we will go back to our lives and pretend it never happened. Just one week, Gill… I will not touch you intimately, unless you will ask me to. But for this to work, there are some simple rules to follow. First of all you have to trust me. You will do what I say and when I say it. If not, you will be punished. I promise that all the actions will be in your best interests."

The sincerity in his eyes and pleading tone of his voice was her undoing. Besides, despite all the craziness Gill could not stop wondering where he was going with this.

Despite her mind kept warning that she was on the highway to hell, her heart ached with the void he so insightfully was referring to.

"I must be mad…" she didn't even realize that she had spoken out loud.

"Does it mean yes?" Cal's voice was full of hope.

Gill just shook her head. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to utter the words. It would make this whole situation real, and she was not ready to do it.

Not yet.


End file.
